Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Pure Poetry

Whilst cleaning through the drawers of my external hard drive, I stumbled onto some gems from my past, including a .txt file containing the remnants of my brief but fervent crush on Scottie from Star Trek. The file properties are all out of whack, but I'm guessing this was created waay before the date on the file. Anyhow.. Enjoy!

pick me up in your maserati
you and i will sip hot totties
afterwards we'll do karate

do you box, or do pilates?
either way, your are a hottie
day and night i want your body

will you take me to the potty?
i'll dress you up just like john gotti
afterwards we'll do the naughty

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Dear Baby Jesus

Please let this week go smoothly allowing me to get lots and lots accomplished at work and school so that I can spend the last two weeks of this month shopping, craft-making, and otherwise preparing for your special day.

Thanks a bunch,

Funeral Wish

While riding the bus the other day I had one of the best ideas I've had in a while as far as ideas that make me smile and leave me feeling like I just came up with the most perfect thing possible. At my funeral, I would like to request that Jon Cameron sing this song:

Friday, December 3, 2010

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Halloween Costume Reminder...

It never fails. About one or two weeks after Halloween, I think of the most perfect costume, and then by the time it rolls around the next year I have totally forgotten what that totally sweet costume was going to be.

Well look out 2011, in my opinionation, this is gonna be a good'n.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

And Now For Your Reading Pleasure...

let me sail, let me sail, let the orinoco flow,
let me reach, let me beach on the shores of Tripoli.
let me sail, let me sail, let me crash upon your shore,
let me reach, let me beach far beyond the Yellow Sea.
da da, da da, da da, da da, da da

sail away, sail away, sail away
sail away, sail away, sail away
sail away, sail away, sail away
sail away, sail away, sail away

from Bissau to Palau - in the shade of Avalon,
from Fiji to Tiree and the Isles of Ebony,
from Peru to Cebu hear the power of Babylon,
from Bali to Cali - far beneath the Coral Sea.

da da, da da, da da, da da, da da

turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, up, up adieu
turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, up, up adieu
turn it up, turn it up, turn it up, up, up adieu

sail away...

from the North to the South, Ebudæ into Khartoum,
from the deep sea of Clouds to the island of the moon,
carry me on the waves to the lands I've never been,
carry me on the waves to the lands I've never seen.

we can sail, we can sail, with the orinoco flow,
we can sail, we can sail,
sail away, sail away, sail away
we can steer, we can near with Rob Dickins at the wheel,
we can sigh, say goodbye Ross and his dependencies
we can sail, we can sail,
sail away, sail away, sail away

we can reach, we can beach on the shores of Tripoli
we can sail, we can sail,
sail away, sail away, sail away

from Bali to Cali - far beneath the Coral Sea
we can sail, we can sail,
sail away, sail away, sail away

from Bissau to Palau - in the shade of Avalon
we can sail, we can sail,
sail away, sail away, sail away

we can reach, we can beach far beyond the Yellow Sea.
we can sail, we can sail,
sail away, sail away, sail away

from Peru to Cebu hear the power of Babylon,
we can sail, we can sail,
sail away, sail away, sail away
we can sail, we can sail,
sail away, sail away, sail away...

Thanks to Wikipedia for this lovely list of Locations referenced in lyrics (in order of mention) 

Orinoco River, Colombia & Venezuela; also the original name of the London studio where the song was recorded

Tripoli, Libya

Yellow Sea, Between Korea and China

Bissau, Guinea-Bissau

Palau, islands in Micronesia

Avalon, British Isles

Fiji, Fiji islands

Tiree, Scotland

Cebu, Philippines

Babylon, Iraq

Bali, Indonesia

Cali, Colombia

Coral Sea, Australia

Ebudae (Inner Hebrides), Scotland; also the title of a later Enya song

Khartoum, Sudan

Island of the Moon (Comoros); also an island on Titicaca Lake, Peru & Bolivia

Ross Dependency, a part of Antarctica; also an in-song reference to Ross Cullum

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Happy Birthday Fred, Wilma, Barney, Betty, Pebbles, Bam-Bam, and Dino

I don't care what anyone says. I love the Flintstones. (ok, Patrick is the only person I know who genuinely dislikes the Flintstones.) I spent many a morning hunched in front of the TV with my bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats in tow, missing the bus because I was unable to tear myself away before finding out what Fred was going to do next. 

Today the show turns 50. Thanks to Google for the tribute image they had up today, and thanks to the Christian Science Monitor for their attempt at making clever observations about how horrible the show was. That article only made me appreciate the show that much more.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Water, Water Everywhere

If I were ever to get a tattoo, and I probably never will, it would be something to remind me to drink more water.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Shoe Milieu

Shoes have always been a mystery that I never cared much to figure out. In fact, I kind of hate shoes. I know that being a woman and all, I am supposed to have some kind of fixation or natural inclination when it comes to buying those thingys that cover up your feet. I should have a selection of pairs to go with different outfits, some for rainy weather, some for hot weather, and maybe even some for winter time. Instead, I have a pair of flip flops and few sneakers, all of which look like they had been snacked on by a teething puppy.

If I had my way, I would wear flip flops all of the time. Stupid winter makes that nearly impossible as I am a wuss in cold weather. Add to this the fact that I am now 32 which has left me feeling like I need to act more like a woman which in my mind equals entertaining the possibility of wearing makeup, taking a new-found interest in moisturizer, and obtaining some lady-like, lady-style footwear. All of these thoughts give me anxiety.

I don't want to go to the mall, and I have no idea where to look online, nor am I willing to spend any of my precious internet time searching for the best place to look. So naturally, I went to Urban Outfitters.I found these and am going to contemplate buying them for the next 2-3 days after which time I'm sure I will forget about the  need for decent shoes until I leave to catch the bus in sad chewed up flip flops during a snow storm. Blah.

Monday, September 27, 2010

I Feel Tremendous!!

One of the many films obtained from my recent DI pillaging was the Ron Howard classic Cocoon staring Steve Guttenberg, Wilford Brimley, Brian Dennehy, Jessica Tandy, and D.A.R.Y.L.'s Barret Oliver. I recommend checking it out so that you can enjoy Mr. Guttenberg's bulge in his teeny tiny shorts, Wilford Brimley's nasty jokes about his drooping balls, the weird alien sex scene that was in all the previews (I never knew we were all watching Guttenberg climax when you see that blip) and one of the greatest sequences in movie history: the scene where the old men are nancing around the pool like a bunch of little girls accompanied by synth rock.

Guttenberg's bulge (which I am unable to find an image of on the internet oddly enough) has inspired a new piece of slang around the house which I plan to submit to the urban dictionary.

Having a Guttenberg:  A large bulge in a tiny pair of pants or shorts; having to make emergency crotchal adjustments in public due to one's junk being bunched or pinched into a tight spot.

Eg: "Wow, that guy's got a serious Guttenberg"
or "Pardon me while I fix my Guttenberg"

Monday, September 20, 2010

School Has Taken Over

Class and homework have managed to suck up all of my free time. Lucky for me, my homework involves working on art projects, so I am not complaining. Right now I'm working on a drawing of a robot holding a stuffed giraffe which is pretty rad.

I have much to write about, but rather than expending any more of my empty stores of energy for the day, I will just post one of my favorite photographs of all times and stare at it for a minute...

Aaaaah..... Mr. Newman. Sugarhouse Movies 10 has a poster-size version of this hanging in the hallway. I have spent many a walk down that hall while making kissy faces at.said poster, just as I am doing right now from my laptop.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Nectarines and Plain Yogurt are the Jam

And that's all I have to say about that.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Grape Crush is My Favorite...

... But I've got some other major crushes developing at the moment. Care to read about em?

1. the Clothesline. One of the big selling points of this house was the fact that it came with built-in poles for a clothesline in the backyard. A few weeks ago, Patrick helped me put together the line part, and I believe it to be very cute indeed.


2. Our ever-growing VHS collection. Lately there has been a resurgence of VHS tape collecting in my house. I always see so many amazing movies at the local thrift stores and finally decided to give in and start buying the ones I am dying to see/see again. Here are some of the more recent gems.

Kentucky Fried Movie
Field of Dreams
Dark city
My Dinner With Andre
Freaky Friday
Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
SNL Best of Eddie Murphy
The Talented Mr. Ripley
Housesitter (total guilty pleasure. don't knock it til you try it.)
Back to the Future II
Foul Play
Krush Groove
The Jerk
Tikki Tikki Tavi
Cher Fitness [A New Attitude]

Annie Hall
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
the Dark Crystal
Desperately Seeking Susan
Romancing the Stone
The Spy Who Loved Me
The Man With the Golden Gun
Live and Let Die
The Little Prince
Son of Godzilla
The Secret of Nimh
Raiders of the Lost Arc
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
The Wall
Strange Brew

3. The Avocado Seeds - After preparing the delicious avocado enchiladas I gushed over the other day, I decided to try an experiment I saw in Plant Parenthood where you stick a few toothpicks into an avocado seed, set it in a cup of water, and wait for it to sprout. Reminds me of the time we germinated lima beans in the 2nd grade. If you play your cards right, you might just be the recipient of one of these little babies when they are big enough to pot. :D

4. Leucocoprinus birnbaumii (aka the mushrooms growing in one of my house plants.) I noticed these popped up after the move. Google tells me they are harmless and nearly impossible to get rid of, so I'm just going to let them grow for now. Aren't they weird? 
Don't get too close! RAWR!!
5.  Last but not least: The Little Family Patrick, Sam and Prince are the sweetest.
Sam Loves the Jerk

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Clean All the Things?

I am feeling all too much the things illustrated in many of the posts on Hyperbole and a Half, and I think I have found my new favorite place to visit on the interwebs. I won't go into too much detail as to why this blog is the shit, because you don't have to take my word for it...

Sunday, August 8, 2010

New Dietary Staple

I have been trying to use my cookbooks more (and the interwebs less) when looking for dinner-time inspiration lately, and was intrigued last night when coming across this recipe for Avocado Enchiladas. Not only did it seem unusual, but it was also the only enchilada recipe in the Martha Stewart Living Cookbook, so we went for it. I believe these to be the best enchiladas ever made by my hands (with Paul McCartney's vegan enchiladas coming in a close 2nd.)

In a pinch, I substituted chili powder for the ancho chile concoction, vegetable stock, an Epic Wheat Ale for the white wine, and used only 1 1/2 cups of veg oil for frying the tortillas. You could easily cut the recipe in half and use an 8x8 pan to serve six, but I would recommend still using 1 1/2 lb. of cheese. Ha! Enjoy!

Avocado Enchiladas

Serves 12 to 14
  • 2 dried ancho chiles
  • 4 cups plus 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
  • 1/2 medium onion, cut into 1/4-inch dice
  • 2 cloves garlic, minced
  • 2 tablespoons dark-brown sugar
  • 5 tablespoons ground cumin
  • 2 tablespoons dried oregano
  • 2 cups dry white wine
  • 1 can crushed plum tomatoes, 28 ounces
  • 2 cups Homemade Chicken Stock, or canned low-sodium chicken broth, skimmed of fat
  • 8 Hass avocados
  • 1 cup loosely packed fresh cilantro leaves, roughly chopped
  • 1/4 cup fresh lime juice
  • 3/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 25 corn tortillas
  • 1 1/2 pounds Monterey jack cheese, grated


  1. Place chiles in saucepan; add water to cover. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 5 to 10 minutes. Cool slightly, remove stems, and puree chiles and liquid in food processor.
  2. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in a deep skillet over medium heat. Add onions, garlic, brown sugar, cumin, and oregano; saute until onion is soft, 4 to 5 minutes. Add wine, chile puree, tomatoes, and stock; simmer about 20 minutes, until thickened to stew consistency.
  3. Peel, pit, and roughly chop avocados. Toss with cilantro, lime juice, salt, and pepper.
  4. Heat oven to 400 degrees. Heat remaining 4 cups oil in a wide, heavy saucepan over medium heat until very hot but not smoking, 7 to 10 minutes. Using tongs, fry 6 tortillas, one at a time, for 2 to 3 seconds. Drain on paper towel-lined sheet.
  5. Dip fried tortillas in chile sauce to lightly coat both sides. Spoon 2 tablespoons avocado filling on each tortilla; roll up. Spread 1/2 cup chile sauce into large, deep casserole. Arrange rolled tortillas seam-side down in casserole so they fit snugly; repeat entire process, covering bottom of casserole; pour 1 cup sauce over tortillas; sprinkle with half the cheese. Make a second layer using remaining ingredients. Top with remaining sauce and cheese.
  6. Bake enchiladas until heated through, 25 to 30 minutes. Serve immediately. 

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Watership Down

I have been without internet access at home for over FOUR days now so I've been driving all over town to coffee shops to work, and even (gasp!) going in to the office. Since getting connected and getting to work has become such an ordeal this week, I've scarcely had time to glance at the interwebs outside of work-related junk. So tonight I am sitting in one of the many coffee drinkeries near my house morphing into one of the lame-o's who bring laptops to these places to sit and look at online horoscopes, tumblr, and other extremely important things. I can't describe the tension release I felt moments ago as I got my fix. It was as if I had just taken a ride down a magical rainbow and landed on an eight-foot high pile of feather beds when I was able to search for Sriracha articles just now. Aaaaah...

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Things and Stuff

It's the first Saturday in months where I haven't had (or felt like I had) one billion things to do, and boy does it feel GOOD! So far today, I've eaten eggs and bacon, finished off the champagne from last night, watched Airplane!, and sat on the interwebs for nearly two hours.

I recently acquired a large number of sweet VHS tapes from ye olde DI, including a copy of Annie Hall, which I watched while eating beef stroganoff the other night. This in turn lead to me becoming mildly obsessed/fascinated with the cuteness Dianne Keaton as Annie Hall. I mean, honestly, is there anything more adorable in this world?

I would be lucky to possess an ounce of the charm and darlingness she has. Lucky for me, there is something that I can obtain that would be a good consolation. I would love to acquire a replica or something damn near identical to the super dope tote that she sports throughout the entire movie. Need it.

Another obtainable obsession of mine is the desire to make a granny square afghan. I was inspired after watching an episode of this cute show.

Isn't it divine? Can't wait to start on it!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Beatin the Heat

As miserable as the heat can be, it has brought many amazing things into my life over the past few weeks including being offered an exciting new position within the company I work for, finding a HOUSE to rent and feeling more and more in love with the man in my life every day. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him

Aaah... that feels better.

Salutations from the Sauna

It's July. I live in a loft. It's fucking hot up here. The heat has hindered my ability to move, let alone work, much less have a chance to edit the photos from my fabulous trip to Mill Valley CA, which I can't wait to do. But no, my computer has to heat up to 150 degrees every 20 minutes and I have to shut her down and wait for the cool off.

Mill Valley is paradise. I hope to live there and make babies someday. The trip was complete with the best road trip game I have ever played, an amazing brunch with the bestest friends, the World Cup final game, a beach unlike any I had ever been to, bunker diving, blankets on the lawn, rock hunting. Oh I could go on and on... 

Since I can't edit my photos yet, I'm going to place a photo tribute here to all of my favorite things that you can only get in California... 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Lagunitas IPA

The nectar of the gods, this is hands down my favorite IPA of all times. We drank several of these on the trip (thank you James!!)

Trader Joe's Blue Cheese and Pecan dip (droooool)

Need I say more? Oh god this stuff is out of this world! I really think I could eat an entire tub in one bite if no one was looking.

Peet's iced latte (with foam of course!)

There's just something about waltzing into a Peet's coffee house and getting one of their signature coffee drinks. My favorite is their iced latte, complete with foam. (droool)

Annie's Shells & Cheddar

Ok, I know that all I have to do is walk to Smith's Marketplace to get this, but I tried it for the first time on this trip, and it was the best mac and chee evs!

Mill Valley Beerworks

Saving the best for last, I would like to share a word to the wise: If you are ever in the Marin area, do yourself a favor and stop in at Mill Valley Beerworks. The atmosphere, service, food and the BEER were out of this world. Just take a look at their menu, and you'll see that this place makes that douche nozzle of a joint "the Bayou" look like, well, even more like a total douche nozzle.


Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Oh iPod, How I Miss Thee...

My friend always says my desk looks more like a page out of a Where's Waldo book. Today I stumbled on this picture of my beloved missing iPod. Can you find her in this colorful mess? Sigh...

I believe I left her on the charger in the uppity SF hotel room I stayed in a few months back. Boo hoo hoo!
If found, I will give you hugs and kisses for at least 15 minutes.

This Week's Playlist...

is brought to you by MJ and the Jam

Friday, July 2, 2010

Hell Freezes Over

Once apon a time I was the day manager for ye olde Video Verns. I had the sweetest routine for my daily video store tasks, which were always accompanied by Nightmare Before Christmas, Waiting for Guffman, and Alice in Wonderland typically in that order. The entire morning up would be spent in solitude rewinding tapes, re-shelving tapes, popping / eating popcorn, and the occasional visit from my buddy Dave from next door while singing along to Red White and Blane over a slice of pizza from Little Caesars.

This was my routine every day except for Tuesdays. On Tuesday the bookkeeping lady (Kathy?) came in and because "Kathy" had "seniority" over me, she got to pick what we would watch that day. EVERY F@$*^(#iNG TIME she would select this pile of s#!% to watch on repeat until she was done with her shift:

So as I sit here at the coffee shop down the street from my house, listening to the poop bucket selection of songs they have playing over the intercom (including hits such as that "heroes have the right to dream" song and an acoustic version of  "ironic") I find I have reached a definitive turning point in my life. Not only did I post an Eagles video in my last blog entry, but when the Eagles "Lyin' Eyes" came on just now, I was totally digging it.

If 19-year-old me could see me now she would slap the shit out of me.

Ok, now they're playing an acoustic Natalie Merchant song - as if that's necessary.  I'm out of here.

Monday, June 28, 2010


I'm still mulling over the endless possibilities for the looming guitar strap pattern that will be used to adorn my half and half Jimi Hendrix guitar, but in the meantime I managed to finish my first pair of beaded earrings. Behold!
Look closely. Can you see the eagles in flight? If not, then sit through this...

A Tribute to Scrim and Scram

Yesterday I nearly lost my little Scrimp to a speeding truck outside the house. I won't go into the details, but a few inches difference and I might have wound up without her sleeping next to me on the balcony right now. I was so shaken, and still am at the moment. We also had a scare with Sam a few months back when he went missing for a day. Both experiences were emotionally jarring and brought major focus to how important these guys are to me. We are so lucky as humans to be graced with the presence of such soft, fluffy, loving little creatures who keep us company, and give us licks and loves without judgment or criticism (well, not from Sam at least.)

Here's to my kitties, and all the other pets on the planet.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Otter Pops or Nothin'

I have to take a moment to give props to the Jel Sert Company based out of Chicago IL. Not only did they buy the rights to Otter Pops in 1996, but they managed to keep the flavor, consistency and all the same awesome pop characters such as Louie-Bloo Raspberry, Little Orphan Orange and my favorite: Strawberry Short Kook.

I usually shop at Smith's due to it's close proximity to my house (would anyone shop there otherwise?) After raiding the freezer section of the three Smith's in my area, I was saddened to find that Otter Pops had been replaced by the shitty generic Icee Pops which I have been reluctantly choking down all summer long...

But yesterday I drove to a far away land called A Fresh market and the first thing I saw when I entered their hallowed sliding doors was a display case of boxes upon boxes of Otter Pops stacked higher than my head.

A little jaunt over to Wikipedia and I find that during the 2000s, Jel Sert modified the recipe for Otter Pops by adding more fruit juice. It is now relatively healthy compared to other sweet snacks; each one ounce serving has only three grams of sugar and fifteen calories. So I can eat these all day and not think twice about it. In your face Nabisco 100 Calorie Packs!!!

Summertime is here!

I totally just spent the last hour writing an apologetic yet witty post about how the longest winter in recent memory had drained any excess (ie blogging) energy and how I am coming out of it now. This was followed by a mildly amusing chunk about how I'm going to work on making a guitar strap with my new bead loom

Somehow this all vanished moments ago as I was about to close with a picture of the delicious meal my sweet bf cooked tonight.


While you're here, you might as well enjoy the latest joke from the Payne twins!!

Friday, June 4, 2010

I Wish I Had A Pot

My wish is granted.. i don't feel as affectionate about it as Fabian.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Help Momma Kathy Get Her Smile Back!

My dear, sweet momma Kathy has lost her smile. She has been the recipient of 5 crowns over the last eight years - each of which have been dealt a fate full of cracks, gaps and/or complete failure, leaving her with pearly whites that just don't bite. She can no longer look an apple in the eye (not to mention Big Hunks and numerous Del Taco menu items.) :(

When her latest crown started wiggling out of place, she thought she knew the routine: remove the crappy crown and replace it right? Wrong.

On her last trip to the dentist, she came to find out that the root of this tooth was fractured meaning that an implant plus a new crown are needed in order to avoid a missing tooth. Yowch! I've already said a mouthful.

I would gladly fork over the dough to pay for her new chompers, but it turns out oral surgery is NOT CHEAP ($2,500.00 for one tooth!) With no insurance, and a fixed income, she is left having to bite the bullet (MediCare does not cover dental!)

I am putting together this donation page for anyone who can "chip" in to help my momma get her smile back.

Any donations will be re-payed with a grateful, toothy grin from momma Kathy.

Click the link below if you have the means and the where with all.


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Countdown to Conan

I managed to score tickets to see Conan O'Brien on his stand up comedy tour. I'm going to see him in Reno's luxurious Grand Sierra Resort in May. The only thing I know about Reno is the advice I gleaned from Phyllis Nefeler when she said "Never go to Reno, girls. The California community property laws cannot be beat." I didn't understand what that meant back when I was 11, and I don't understand what it means now. For the first time in my life, I am not going to heed this confusing and irrelevant advice so that I can sit on the third row and marvel at the greatness that is Conan.

In the meantime, god bless youtube.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


Look Kids! Now you can make your own trilobites at home! Check this out. I'll be making these as soon as I get my hands on a printer...

Houston Gem and Mineral Society - Make Your Own Trilobite

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


Demotivation + too much food = lots of sitting on the couch with my laptop in tow, knitting needles clacking away. At least I'll have a sweater in the end.


Thought I'd post some pages from my sketchbook just for fun. I picked up my copy of The Phantom Tollbooth the other day, and was reminded of how much I used to love and still love the illustrations by Jules Feiffer. I decided to try drawing some of the images from the book and learned much over the course of a few days.

I was never a big fan of crosshatching when I used to be an avid sketcher, but I gained a whole new understanding for it while working through his illustrations. His use of line was so inspiring to me, it had me drawing for days straight. When I went back to doing sketches of my own, the influence was definitely apparent.

All the images below were taken from my sketchbook - the first three images taken from The Phantom Tollbooth, the next three were taken from the interwebs. Included are Conan O'Brien, Neil Young performing on Conan's last episode as the host of the Tonight Show, and a replica of a raptor (which I might add is the first reference to a dinosaur during the life of this blog. Cheers to that!)

Monday, February 1, 2010

Long Time No Bloggy

It's been a while. What can I say? I've been feeling deflated since the holidays. Did I bake all the cookies I promised? Yes. Did I give them to friends and family? No. Did I eat half of them by myself? Yes.

I promise to write again very soon with news on my latest developments of creative expression, including plans for stained glass making and my latest drawings. Stay tuned tuners. :)